Drop the Assumptions
Every day, our minds make quick judgments. We try to make sense of what we see and hear by filling in the blanks. Maybe we assume why someone didn’t respond to a message, what a passing glance meant, or how a conversation will unfold. These mental shortcuts are often based on old patterns, incomplete information, or emotional habits. Without realizing it, we rely on stories from the past to explain what’s happening now.
Dropping assumptions does not mean ignoring your instincts or giving up your beliefs. It means slowing down long enough to ask, “Is this the only way to see things?” It means becoming aware of the mental stories we automatically tell and choosing curiosity instead of certainty. When we pause and stay open to multiple possibilities, we make space for better understanding, deeper connection, and personal growth. Letting go of assumptions is not weakness. It is a quiet strength, the strength to notice, question, and choose a more thoughtful way forward.
Understanding the Science
Assumptions are a natural part of human cognition, rooted in our brain’s need for quick decisions. According to cognitive psychology, these mental shortcuts (called heuristics) help us navigate uncertainty but often lead to errors in judgment. Laurie Santos emphasizes how cognitive biases, like the fundamental attribution error (assuming others’ actions reflect character, not circumstance), distort our thinking. Similarly, Byron Katie's method, supported by strategies in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), shows that examining and reframing negative assumptions can reduce stress and increase well-being. Research confirms that people who question automatic thoughts and adopt flexible perspectives report higher life satisfaction and lower emotional reactivity.
Success Strategies
1. Title Your Story: When you catch yourself reacting strongly, ask, “What story am I telling myself?”
2. Ask a New Question: Replace assumptions with curiosity. “What else could this mean?” or “What might I not know here?”
3. Use a Reframing Tool: Try Byron Katie’s four questions to challenge stressful thoughts.
4. Practice Pausing: Before replying or reacting, pause to ask for clarity. Don't assume other's intentions.
“We see the world not as it is, but as we are.”
— Anaïs Nin
Connection Matters:
Use the connection cards below to start a conversation with the people around you.