Perspective for Feedback
Feedback is one of life's most generous gifts, yet our minds often resist it like an unwelcome visitor. What if we could transform this resistance into receptivity, this defensiveness into curiosity? When we shift our perspective to truly value feedback, we unlock a powerful pathway to growth and connection. Every piece of feedback, whether gentle or challenging, becomes a mirror reflecting not judgment, but opportunity. It whispers to us about blind spots we couldn't see alone and illuminates strengths we might have overlooked. The courage to seek feedback and the wisdom to receive it with an open heart creates a beautiful cycle of continuous learning and authentic relationships. By welcoming feedback as information rather than evaluation, we step into a space of humility and empowerment where every interaction becomes a chance to understand ourselves more deeply and serve others more effectively.
Understanding the Science
Research in psychology and neuroscience reveals why feedback can feel threatening and how we can train ourselves to receive it more effectively. When we receive feedback, especially corrective feedback, our brain's threat detection system activates, triggering the amygdala and creating a fight-or-flight response. This explains why we often feel defensive or want to argue when receiving feedback, even when it's delivered kindly.
However, studies in growth mindset research show that people who view feedback as information for growth rather than judgment of worth demonstrate increased learning, better performance, and stronger relationships. Neuroplasticity research indicates that we can literally rewire our brains to respond differently to feedback through mindful practice. When we regularly practice receiving feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness, we strengthen neural pathways associated with learning and adaptation while weakening those associated with threat response. Additionally, research on psychological safety in teams demonstrates that environments where feedback is normalized and valued see higher levels of innovation, collaboration, and overall performance, suggesting that our individual relationship with feedback directly impacts our collective success.
Success Strategies
1. Morning Feedback Intention: Start each day by setting an intention to be open to one piece of feedback. Before checking your phone or diving into tasks, take 30 seconds to mentally prepare yourself to receive information about your impact, your work, or your relationships with curiosity rather than defensiveness.
2. The Feedback Thank You: Practice saying "Thank you for that feedback" before you respond to or evaluate what someone has shared. This simple phrase creates a pause that prevents immediate defensiveness and signals to others that you value their perspective, encouraging more honest communication.
3. The Curiosity Question: Once a week, approach someone you trust and ask a curious question like "What's one thing you notice about how I communicate?" or "How do I come across in meetings?" Practice asking without defending or explaining, simply listening and learning.
4. Feedback Reframe Practice: When you notice yourself becoming defensive about feedback, pause and reframe the situation. Instead of thinking "They're criticizing me," try "They're sharing valuable information about my impact." Practice this mental shift until it becomes automatic.
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions."
- Ken Blanchard
Connection Matters:
Use the connection cards below to start a conversation with the people around you.